WHY WE MISUNDERSTAND EACH OTHER

As we look around our homes, communities, cities, states, countries and continents, we can’t help but notice that chaos seems to reign almost everywhere. The planet is in a physical and psychological uproar. There are skirmishes universally, and very little progress seems to be made in curtailing this unfortunate situation.

In the world of science, there is a concept known as “multiple universes.” The theory is that our universe is just one of many. In one model these universes are separated by what are called “branes,” (think about a derivative of the word “membrane”). It is postulated that in each “universe,” there may be similar things happening, and some say there are duplicates of us in each one.

The foregoing definition of “multiple universes” is speculative at this time, but there is one area of life where the idea of “multiple universes” is totally true and that is the diversity in the minds of people. Essentially, every person views the world from his or her vantage point, and depending upon upbringing and previous experiences, those points can vary greatly.

In essence, every human being is a universe in miniature, and individual perceptions depend upon the background experiences, as previously pointed out. In this regard, when we say “multiple universes,” we are speaking on the fact that each human being views a unique universe shaped by his/her experiences.

We have all seen the evidence. Two people, for example, are witnessing the same exact thing that happened, and each one might see TOTALLY differing events. We can see this in other examples; one person may view a man (let’s call him “Victor”) and think that he is the most handsome man in the world, while another person might actually view him as extremely ugly!

This kind of perception happens all day in myriad circumstances, i.e., we are all experiencing the world differently, which makes communication difficult. We see a different world, and the barriers to understanding each other are crafted on this fact.

Because we exist in multiple individual universes that are often as different from each other as night is from day, it would behoove us to figure out how to bridge the communication gap whenever we need to collaborate with each other.

In order to do this, we must learn the art of compromise based on cooperation. In other words, though we may not understand what someone is trying to communicate, we must strive to see things from his/her standpoint.

In addition, we must seek complementary concepts that might help the other person understand us. The key is that we must bear a sincere commitment to want to understand where someone else is coming from…the desire must be present.

The most common areas for misunderstanding are between those who seem to be opposites. For example, a woman who is a meticulous housekeeper might develop a crush on a man who basically lives like a slob. If communication lines remain open, it is possible for them to reach a happy medium. In a situation like this both parties stand to benefit if they are willing and able to move from their comfort zones in order to see a different reality.

The key to blending the universes is to first commit to an attempt to understand others.

For example, a police officer, whose power dynamic is such that he doesn’t respect the Black and poor constituency he works for, will do things like shoot people without giving them the chance to explain themselves. This is operating from a position of prejudice.

In other words, it might be easy for someone who was raised to hate Black people to misunderstand a person’s motives and act upon their impulses to pull the trigger to shoot and/or kill an innocent person. If the cop in this instance is able to see the world from the other person’s standpoint, from the other universe, there might be a different outcome.

Basically, it requires effort to see things from another person’s viewpoint, from another universe of personal experiences, and if we are sincere, with effort we can succeed. If, on the other hand, we are only interested in gaslighting others, we have failed coming out of the gate. A Luta Continua!

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