The Chatterbox

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MAYORAL MADNESS

Mare Rahm

At de rate its going, looks lak there will be 200 people running for mayor of Chicago when de time comes. What some smart folks is out here saying is that this ain’t nothing but a ploy to create so much confusion dat the Tiny Emperor wins his 50 plus one by default. You see de Daley Clan and their white Democratic minions, worked de system and changed the City’s primary system by first, pushing up de timeline for people to file and then for folks to vote; and then two, to say that if anybody gets 50 plus one vote, they is de mayor, and don’t have to face nobody else in a “general type election” lak Harold Washington did when he took on dat crazy Bernie Epton and Burke and all dem ethnic whites. So after riggin’ de game more than 25 years ago all one gots to do is trick the numbers enough to win four more years.

Chuy Garcia

The Mexican who wound up in a runoff with Rahm Emanuel looked as surprised as anyone dat he made dat history. His runoff win had little to do with anything he done, seeing dat he got in the race only to replace dat Teacher Union lady who wound up with brain cancer right after it looked lak she might be de next mayor. Chuy Garica did all he could to make sure he didn’t get elected including putting out crazy commercials and floppin’ at every single debate. But he sho’ got da progressive money and them pennies from them labor union people who were too stupid to see the hustle. He also got the “love” and “loyalty” of hundreds of thousands of people who didn’t even know who he was. Now some of them got them sour puss faces when their “hero” took a deal and ran off to Congress because it was “his time.” Ima be digressin…

Toni Preckwinkle

Well currently, there’s may be 10 people who are “seriously” thinking of running for mayor—six, including Rahm have already announced. The remaining four are making calls and trying to figure out how to cover up de fact that they fake candidates who are being paid by “outside sources” with “hard to trace money” to get in the race to split any opposition vote and ensure De Tiny Emperor, with 20 million in a war chest and a secret coalition of powerful Negros like Bobby Rush, Toni Preckwinkle and Danny Davis, wins yet another third term.

-Ima-

WATER METRO MADNESS

Why is it all these allegations about KKK-type goings on at the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District wasn’t put out by dem Black commissioners who ran around beggin’ for folks to vote just a few weeks ago? Why is it that Black employees at this other taxing body are suffering over there and don’t nobody know about it until white folks get mad and tell on each other? Why do we keep electing these silent Negroes to these public offices who do nothing but take photo ops, go to dinners, look good on Instagram, and then act entitled to their jobs at election time? We now hearing what is slowly comin’ out is just de tip of the iceberg. Rumor has it that a data breach may have happened too. Not sure what that means, but okay.

-Ima-

DO DE HUSTLE

We hope Mr. Willie Wilson got enough money in de bank for all de crabs in the bucket who are running up under him trying to pretend lak he gone be the next Mayor of Chicago. Somebody on Karlov was running around saying dat folks bees hoping for a $500,000 payday from the fast food millionaire and gospel producer. Will Wilson spend that kind of money on a long-shot campaign that some say was encouraged by De Tiny Emperor’s best friend, Governor Bruce “Days Are Numbered” Rauner? In de meantime, maybe he out to pay folk with them disposable debit cards and just put 100 dollar increments on there so he can track who’s doing what and why. At any rate, a lot of people are lookin’ to “eat” off of him this time around.

-Ima-

HOW MUCH FOR COLORED INFLUENCE

We hear de going rate for influence in de ‘hood is a mere $1,500. That’s the fee we heard has been paid to at least four or five Black folks with a following by one campaign seekin’ to secure Illinois’ highest seat. You mean to tell me that all somebody gotta do is give you fifteen hundred dollars and you will run all around your “base” getting people to vote or “not vote” for some white man who could care less about you and your people? Well slaves did have prices on de head and we read some mess that said some were so proud when de had a high price tag stamped on dey ass. Maybe these be they offspring who are out here sellin’ folks out for crumbs? Willie Lynch lives.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: AChicagoCrusader@aol.com. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!

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