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The Chatterbox


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Gov. Bruce Rauner

Two political PACS run by Colored Folk are trying desperately to live up to their promises. Both are struggling to raise money because people are skeptical if the people running them know exactly what they are doing. These two political action committees are different from the three other new ones that have popped up this Illinois Primary season—and we hear three out of the five targeting Black voters, are being paid for by Bruce “Call Your Bluff” Rauner. Be careful who you give yo’ money too—they may be workin’ against yo’ interests. The good news is some of these unemployed hobos will at least get $5 or $10 a day to pass out literature and to pollute your car windshield. We know one group that paid homeless people a wee bit of money to “get signatures” and the guys were so desperate they took it anyway. Last word: If a political Negro you know has been broke for a while and struggling, suddenly starts a PAC and is seen eating at Yassa in Bronzeville and laughing, you better look twice.



Kwame Raoul

People on de West Side are wondering two things: One, why didn’t Kwame Raoul show up at an NAACP debate on the Attorney General’s race; and two, who made his road signs, because they be butt ugly. Someone told someone who told someone who told The Chatterbox, that Raoul probably didn’t show up because he is either mad or scared of that knuckle headed, Republican front man/WVON radio host, Maze Jackson.

Melody Spann

If you recall, Maze the Haze went full blown GOP hoe when he attacked Raoul, who is a South Side State Senator. They almost came to blows live and in living color as they went back and forth on Melody Spann’s questionable radio station. Ima say questionable because folk been murmuring that the signal they own has long returned to the white man at Clear Channel. Anyhoo, folks are scared that Raoul might not be campaigning right and hoping that Negroes in Chicago are going to be the deciding factor in his crowded race as a Democrat. People downstate are calling up here to Ima saying they ain’t seen the man down there and they been looking everywhere. This race be de one to watch—and it may be more exciting than the one the billionaires are fighting over. We’ll see.



Paul Vallas

There’s much speculation that Paul Vallas, the white head of the Negro university Chicago State, is about to run for mayor. Folks are saying he done moved on up to de North Side like George Jefferson. They sayin’ this be a clear signal he is ‘bout to run against the Tiny Emperor. Well, one lady at the currency exchange was talking on her cell phone and was saying: “Girl, you know Rahm got 50 million dollars in the bank. Don’t you have to live in Chicago to work for CPS. I bet he moved here to be the new Forest Claypool. For all we know that’s the move that he ‘bout to make. You know they slick. Look how they took Chuy out!” Hmmm? How that gone work when they got that young Black woman thinking she’s in charge. Just passin’ it along.



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Donald Trump

Ima is against President Donald Trump chasin’ Mexicans out of the country. It ain’t right. But sometimes we wish he’d at least get rid of the ones with them dirty push carts, selling nasty looking corn in a cup, with no clear signs of sanitation supplies. Poor people be lined up to eat that corn. Must taste good. But none of them carts in the ‘hood seem to have running water. So what happens if the little Hispanic guy fixing your food has to go pee? How’s he gonna wash his hands. He ain’t gonna leave his cart on the street. He’s gonna duck in the alley and take care of business. Then come back to his long line of hungy Black people and WRETCH around and serve you some food you can make at home.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: [email protected]. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!

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