HAPPY NEXT 12 MONTHS
Well chil’ren, Ima can tell you all of us old folks at the Shady Rest Bye-and-Bye and Goodbye Convalescent Nursing Rehabilitation Senior Daycare Center is happy to see another decade trek on bye. We is so sad that some good people went to the Upper Room in 2019 while a whole bunch of sums-of-guns are still breathin’. With that said, may your next 12 months of this first decade be filled with lots of money, lots of lovin’ and lots of cleaned chitlins. Remember, some of them black specs ain’t pepper.
IF YOU CAN READ THIS
Then you probably ain’t high. Illinois is now a recreational ganja state. Most of the elderly folks said they ain’t rolling their wheelchairs up in no dispensaries where they got to show they I.D., get their eyeballs scanned and be taxed out the behind for no nickel bag. Our independent survey of people with glaucoma and arthritis in de elbow shows that 87% will still get their Loud from Pookie and ‘em at cheaper prizes—-and because “they deliver.”
BALLOT OR BULLET
Looks lak Bobby Rush’s campaign for re-election to the Congress in Illinois’ first district may be in jeopardy of making it on the March 2020 ballot. The Board of Elections is looking all up his campaign’s rectum to figure out whether or not his chief circulator and notary did something funny with the petitions they turned in to get the former Black Panther back on the ballot.
The female Barack, otherwise called Sarah Gad, filed a challenge to Rush’s petitions by asking for six subpoenas to make Ricky Morrow and Harvey Cook, two circulators, and Darva Watkins, the notary, to explain some signatures on 267 petition sheets. Gad is taking a page out of her mentor’s book by trying to knock a powerful opponent off the ballot, thus sealing a win by default. The light skin woman who has a lot of big named support behind her, claimed this week that the congressman’s petitions showed “a demonstrable pattern of tampering, fraud and/or notary misconduct.” In Negro speak, she’s claiming that some sheets were labeled wrong, signatures don’t match and nothing was verified before the pages were verified by the notry.
Watkins, who attempted to run for alderman of the 3rd Ward, has been in the streets a long time trying to help get people elected. She often gets homeless people and folks who have been chronically unemployed jobs circulating petitions during campaign season. An off-and-on crackhead just recently told one of the seniors that he was working for Watkins circulating petitions and he was getting $10 per sheet. It would surely be odd that she was that reckless with Rush’s petitions. That would be a rookie mistake for a woman who is also known for “talking a lot” and “keep people on the phone so long until their ears bleed.”
However, a snitch claims, “Well, it could happen because people get lax and think their guy has got it in the bag. Remember that’s how Obama got elected, he knocked Alice Palmer off the ballot. And then when he ran for U.S. Senate, most of those people dropped out in both parties, leaving him to run against that crazy Republican dude from D.C. Most people running for office don’t always have the means to do successful petition challenges. If they did, a whole lot of incumbents would never make it on the ballot,” he explained.
The Chatterbox is published before the January 3rd hearing downtown. Let’s hope Rush, who has been in Congress since 1993, isn’t kicked off the ballot and dodges this long shot bullet by Gad. He hasn’t had a real competitive political race in years. If you recall, some of us old folks was hoppin’ mad when he jumped in the race in ‘92 against beloved figure Charlie Hayes. Nobody could talk him out of takin’ the old man out and after Hayes’ campaign made some “mistakes” the union boss was out and Rush, who was lingering in the City Council, was in and has been there ever since—missing votes and having sparks of outrageous, militant blackness around election time so he can keep the job.
If Rush does stay on the ballot he ain’t going nowhere soon—until Michelle decides she’s ready for Congress (or Senate). There’s hardly any way Gad, a recovering drug addict and community activist, or Ameena Matthews, the daughter of incarcerated El Rukn leader Jeff Fort, or Robert Emmons Jr., a Bernie Sanders droid, will get the majority of Rush-loving Black folk and angry white Democrats who don’t have the money to move to Lipinski’s district to vote for them. Ironically, Rush’s campaign manager, Mary Datcher, was let go from the Chicago Defender for allegedly failing to disclose political payments made to her in favor of positive newspaper coverage.
Datcher, who worked at the Black paper for three years, denied the ethics violation—and some say is an okay campaign worker. Good luck to them all—and that includes Dorothy Tillman’s son Jimmy who is once again running as a Republican against Rush. Oh, and his petitions got challenged, too. The fiddle-britches are surely busy.
ROBIN KELLY TOO
Just so it don’t seem like we is rooting for Rush to lose, though we do believe change in this case might be what the people need, 2nd District Representative Robin Kelly is also having her petitions challenged. But, we hear this is wishful and foolish thinking that the Matteson Democrat is well poised to stay in the race and maintain the congressional seat she was gifted after Jesse Jackson Jr., was convicted of felonious acts and therefore had to give up the job. Since then Sister Kelly has been a “safe-playing sister” and rarely “rocks any boats that ain’t already swaying from side to side,” said one critic.
MAD AT DE MAYOR
Mayor Lori Lightfoot has made Negroes mad again. They now upset ‘cause they gotta pay more money to take an Uber to the currency exchange and laundromat. If you be riding in some stranger’s car in the downtown area, be prepared to pay three dollars more per trip. If you stay in de hood, you only get to give up a buck fiddy more for the service. This has made people say they are mad that “the mayor is doing this” because “we voted for change.” Okay. How else is she going to close a billion dollar city budget hole if she don’t tax. Some of you folks need to be walking anyhow. Might lose some weight.