HEAD IN THE SAND
We be hearing dat at least four big-time Negroes are keepin’ a low profile after being alerted dat their names done popped up on some sort of list. Well, if you’re a regular reader of this column, then you know we ain’t talkin’ bout no grocery list. It is a list of people who will be “exposed” for “sex crimes, sex acts, debauchery and deviant behavior,” said one man who claimed some knowledge of this so-called “list.”
On the list are high-falutin Colored men who have been playing hide the Maxwell polish with quite a few ladies—some of whom were employees or, as they are putting on the street, “very young girls who felt pressured to give it up.” Now a run down of some of these names means folks will begin dredging up old stuff that people in “De Community” already knew about but didn’t put on de clothesline because they didn’t want to “help white folks” destroy “more nigga leaders,” the man said. But now, with all of this “me too bull(crap), people are feeling lak dey can come out and tell on these {n-words} and get their 15 minutes of fame,” he blabbed.
While the stories of tail-chasin’ may be old, there’s at least one allegation that is quite new and it involves little girls, hypocrisy, street justice and the accused man fleeing a town only to wind up in another position where he continues to con dumb Black board members out of their hard earned money. Enough with dat.
-Ima
HIGH TIMES
Will a small “green coalition” of legislators go ahead with a plan to announce that Mary Jane in Illinois should be legal? We don’t know, but at least one person who heard the idea thought it was a bad idea—namely because half of the lawmakers purchase illegal weed on the regular and at least one drug dealer turned Christian will put their amounts on blast. Folks would be surprised how high and drunk some of these politicians are while on the clock, and voting on laws that govern the rest of us. Will a mandatory drug test for elected officials gain steam, as one activist is hoping it will? Probably not, because the high-ass legislators would be the ones to have to endorse this thing. And, while the Negro politicians involved are usually just high on weed, cocaine and alcohol, them white folks are on all kinds of drugs—or so they say, including somebody in the Chicago City Council who they claim is on some sort of narcotic that’s like Ritalin (the drug they give to kids to calm them down).
-Ima-
I TRADE, U TRADE, WE DIE
People are claiming that certain Arab businesses are the fronts for illegal gun trafficking in the ‘hood. One store located down in de pocket, is said to be “the spot” to go get a “heater” and all you have to do is turn in three Iphones in good condition. They say there’s a coalition of A-RABS (as they are called in the ghetto) are the main people helping to put illegal guns on the streets—weapons used to kill black folk all over de town. Now one activist-type is claiming he got proof that a certain “stanky ass store” is not only trading illegal guns, but also is selling that “fake weed” that “kills a nigga on command.” Now we don’t know how valid this info is because the “activist” has a certain habit that has him tweekin’ off and on. Could be all talk. Can someone send in the FOI to investigate?
-Ima-
HELLO, IS THIS DA FBI?
What’s going on with this so-called preacher, community activist and media hound Jedidiah Brown (also known as Darryl Eugene Coleman by people who don’t like him). Brown, is that Negro, who tied up Lake Shore Drive, as he live streamed himself holding an empty gun to his head while the Chicago Police surrounded his car and moved in slow motion. There is a petition floating around the computer calling for the Alphabet Boys to investigate the man for doing some kind of funny fundraising. “There are speculations that the leaders are inappropriately misusing the donations for there [sic] own personal gain,” the petition reads, before calling out a bunch of co-conspirators, including that little “starring boy” who used to protest the Chicago Police Department before having his own public suicide attempt and changing his tune. Looks like this petition is the result of infighting with a coalition of these new “Facebook leaders” and someone may be mad that they didn’t get their cut of the dough.
The petition, which appears to have been written by someone with a second grade education, also calls on the FBI and the IRS to “open an investigation of possibly frauding, money laundering, wired fraud and also that the CashApp Corporate Office Release all receipts and ledgers”….to the FBI. [That’s literally how they wrote that.]
In de meantime, no one knows if Jedidiah Brown, a very close personal friend of Mayor Rahm Emanuel, will once again take an empty pistol to his own head after knowing more than 400 people have signed the online document. Tune into Facebook to see.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: [email protected]. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!
