The Chatterbox

0
724

MAYORAL MADNESS

Dorothy Brown

Ima told ya so. Weeks ago we said Cook County Clerk of the Circuit Court Dorothy Brown (aka The Woman in Red) was going to toss her perm in the ring for Chicago mayor. We hear she may be have been convinced by two deceitful preachers and one anti-Willie Wilson businessman to do so. While some folk are running around town saying that De Tiny Emperor put her up to the bid; two ‘political operatives’ have told white folks that the only reason The Woman in Red is doing is this to raise cash for a possible defense against federal charges.

Dorothy Brown is not to be messed with. She’s defied the Democratic Party before and even if she’s not serious about really being mayor of Chicago she can do a whole lot of damage to Negroes who are. She will divide the church vote; the Black woman vote; the old people’s vote; the people who like the color red’s vote; and anyone who hates the Illinois Democratic Party vote—and that’s a whole lot of people.

What we is hoping for is that this time around she does not put up those god-ugly billboards of her giant head on the side of buildings like she did the last time. It took two years after that mayor’s race was over for someone to finally take it down

-Ima-

RAISED EYEBROWS

Nosey people are speculating that now that the divorce between JUNIOR Jackson and his elfin wife Sandi is over, will details come out about why the former congressman was dragging the former Chicago Chief of Police McCarthy into the mess? People are saying whatever it is, is gonna come out when the mean-looking former top cop gains any sort of momentum in his bid to unseat his former boss. While many people speculate he’s just a “stalking horse” others claim he really is a disgruntled ex-City of Chicago employee who is really serious about getting control of the fifth floor. In de meantime, some people from New Jersey are said to be “on their way” to help people “fight that guy” who they claim has a long history of civil rights abuses under his watch as a top cop in that state. However, if one person with access to court documents has their way, we may see McCarthy’s name brought up again—-this time when it’s revealed why he was evoked in the Jackson vs. Jackson divorce scandal.

-Ima-

THE MONEY TREE

JB Pritzker

Looks like JB Pritzker is being confused with a gigantic tree that spouts money. A lot of Colored People are upset that they missed that Illinois Primary gravy train after seeing that at least three dubious Black people got paid over $1 million by the billionaire—-for what, no one knows. We understand one million dollar payment went for people to put up some yard signs and pollute people’s cars with his literature; but no one knows why a certain duo got paid the same amount—-and for what. In de meantime, one man who only could hustle about $20,000 out of Pritzker, is hoppin’ mad because he was “sold out by his boy” who seems to have gotten $40,000. One other South Side operative is said to be working on a “proposal” that will rake in the cash when the portly Hyatt Hotel heir goes against the gangly incumbent Bruce “Enough Already” Rauner. One man with ties to someone with ties to the Pritzker camp said this to somebody who told somebody else: “He ain’t putting dat kind of money on the streets for the General [Election] because its down to just two choices, a guy who cut everybody’s social service and faith-based money, or Pritzker. If you didn’t get paid during the last cycle you can forget about it. All of its going to TV ads, printers, Starbucks, Lyft, Uber and pizza joints throughout the state.”

-Ima-

WHAT’S UP DOC

Ms. Shirley went to see her doctor at Mercy Hospital and complained to him that she had a bad case of flatulence. “You can’t smell it and you can’t hear it, but it’s happening all de time, doctor, In fact, I just passed gas 15 times since sitting here,” she told the man. The physician did some tests and finally gave her a prescription telling her to take it just like instructed. A week later Ms. Shirley comes barging in Mercy Hospital’s emergency room demanding to see her doctor. In he comes with his golf bags, “What in the world is wrong with you Ms. Shirley!” The lady looked at him with mean eyes and said, “Doctor I came here to get help with my soundless, odorless flatulence and you gave me this here medicine,” she said shoving the pills in his hands. He looked confused and asked her, “So what’s the problem?” The lady yelled back, “Well I still got gas and I still can’t hear it, but now I can smell it—like right now,” Ms. Shirley said, letting out a big one. The doctor looked at her and said, “Well, one day at a time. I just fixed your sinuses, give me a few days to find a specialist to work on your hearing.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: AChicagoCrusader@aol.com. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!

Looking to Advertise? Contact the Crusader for more information.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here