BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT YO’ DOGS
Some people are mean to other people for no reason, no matter how loyal dey is. They treat ‘em like mangy dogs or sometimes even worse. They’d better be careful, even old dogs bite. Which reminds me ‘bout this time Mr. R.C. down in Birmingham was sitting around on his porch as a hound dog laid up in de yard. “Excuse me, uncle, but do yo’ dog bite?” a high steppin’ Negro asked as he approached R.C.’s yard. The old fella looked up and glanced at de slick and said “Nope.” But as soon as the high stepper sauntered across de grass, that hound dog started snarling and growling and then took after the man’s legs. Tore into him alright. As the man was running all ‘round the yard trying to fight off that lazy-lookin’ beast, he yells out, “Say (N-Word!!!!!)—-I thought you said your dog don’t bite?!” To which Ole R.C. grinned and said with a sneer, “Ain’t my dog.”
ON SUSAN ANTHONY & FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
Who would have thought dat two, little old, gray-haired white women are single handedly keeping gentrification from taking over Jackson Park? We understands dat de Colored Folk who like to spend time kicking a little white ball into a hole ain’t too happy with these two. It seems Jackson Park Watch, which pretends to be a massive community organization, is just two old white ladies holdin’ it down.They have been saying to all who will listen dat de Tiger Woods golf course in South Shore will not only wind up turning a public park private, but some of their followers may believe that it will wind up being a true catalyst for turning their “Hyde Park type” neighborhood whiter than a KKK rally on Hitler’s birthday.
Yet, slaves who follow anythang De Tiny Emperor says and salivate at de thought of rich white folks having any kind of interest anywhere near where they reside, are fighting these two white women left and right. One high tail Black has been overheard saying, “We don’t care what no Jackson Park Watch is saying—-we want expensive golf and to be able to do thangs that poor Blacks can’t afford to do! We have made it!”
Another Negro who we heard refuses to eat at Capt’ Hard Times because it’s “bad for his image,” has secretly gone as far as to agree to a deal to be soon announced that will “put contract dollars in Black hands”—-but we hear that be a lie, too. It seems the affluent, high tea Negroes in Jackson Highlands, Woodlawn and South Shore are fine with gentrification, as long as they don’t lose they house. They are also fine that all the Tiger Woods/Rahm Emanuel group can promise them right now is a few internships for kids who “want to golf” and maybe a “pro shop” with some Flaming Hots for sale.
The rub seems to be dat former, overly beloved President Barack Obama came up with taking over the Jackson Park Golf Course as part of his taking over the other end of Jackson Park by building his shrine there. Folks on de street have been saying, “it’s one project—-it ain’t two. The plan has always been for them to take over the ENTIRE PARK, but to do it in phases in order to trick taxpayers, thwart the angry Blacks, and appease developers who want to make millions, but remain afraid of Pookie and ‘Em.”
A Latino lady even claimed to someone who told someone who told someone Black, that Tiger Woods won’t even come to Chicago’s South Side to put his formerly drug-induced name on the project until all the “opposition has been removed.” Until then, we hear all them wealthy donors are sitting tight on their dollars. Some even saying the “issue may go away” until after the Mayor’s Election so as not to give the 99 people who are pretending to run against Rahm any reason to force him into another run-off. We’ll see.
TWO WEST SIDE HO(E)S
President “Dumb” Donald Trump is inspiring a whole new level of tricking by chumps across the country—and with the #METOO Movement still rolling along, we are hearing hos of every stripe are getting ideas. Is this why two, “big boned” private dancers are telling people they got cell phone tape of a West Side elected official skinning, grinning and maybe even (censored)? The scheme is being hatched, so we hear, to demand some thangs in exchange that the video or the cell phone clips get “deleted.” We hear this has nothing to do with a fat alderman who was caught getting some sort of lap dance a while back. We hear this is tricking on a “whole new” level—and it involves a suburban strip club that is frequented in the daytime by the politician and two of his “boys” almost every damn day. Geesh!