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The Chatterbox


willie wilson
Willie Wilson

Mickey D’s millionaire Willie Wilson keeps announcing he’s running for mayor of CHI-CAW-GA. Not sure where that city be, but we suspect he means the Windy City. Unfortunately, for Wilson, people is fixin’ to take his money and pretend like he’s gone obtain the fifth floor. The Negro preachers, the Unified Hustler’s League and the West Side Alliance of Sell Outs will all line up behind the singer-businessman lookin’ for a handout. Wilson has done quite a bit over the last few years to free people from the County Jail who couldn’t even afford a $1 bail. We wonder if his ties to Bruce “Ratchet” Rauner will come back to haunt him? Prolly not, folks got short memories.



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Barack Obama

A divided group of rabble rousers are no where close to gettin’ an agreement from President Obammy—and that’s mostly because part of dey team done already sold out. We understand a big mouth and wanna be in the mix person, said “de hell with protest” and has already cut a deal that will ensure they get a JAY OH BEE while their friends continue to protest outside. In de meantime, a certain preacher who has been wearing a wire for 10 years, is doing all he can to confuse everybody within 10 miles of the presidential center. As he continues to “rebuild his power,” having been kicked to the curb by the son of his former friend, this preacher has his head so far up M.S.’s behind its a miracle the man can walk.



A group of homosexuals met on de South Side to discuss putting their own candidate in de mayor’s race. We understand from a snitch that the group is thinking of running the “first transgendered” person for City Hall—and that the person may or may not have been “accidentally married” to a preacher with a fez. The snitch claims the LGBT community is “tired of hiding politically” and will now “let their voices be heard.” The group is being led by someone who says they are “flaming” and has said they don’t mind being called the “F” word.



A certain butt-hole has attracted the attention of some law enforcement officials who are watching him and his wife closely—especially their tax filings. The streets say this person has flashed wads of cash, is driving a car he shouldn’t be able to afford “considering where he works” and had a “suitcase full of money” from Republicans who wanted this fool to “shake things up.” Hopefully, they will get him soon—he’s one ugly mother…



tio hardman
Tio Hardiman

Every “Democrat” from here to East St. Louis is greasing dey lips for some of that JB money—and they are lookin’ for a big payout. We hear a “group” of Black “leaders” have already “divided up” what they will receive for their turning out the vote for a guy who the majority of Democrats in Illinois actually voted against. Who is the person who reportedly is set to receive $1.5 million to “put to work on the streets?” We heard a name, but since we can’t prove they got it, we gone leave it be, for now. Hopefully perennial candidate Tio Hardiman will get some “change” in his pockets, now that he called for unity and asked everyone to vote for the billionaire.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: [email protected]. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!

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