The Crusader Newspaper Group

A Moment to Super Size Your Thinking

By Effie Rolfe

Fighting for Love. Some things never change such as girls fighting over a school-boy crush. Sometime ago, I shared this story about a fight that went way too far. What started as an argument on Facebook between two 14-year-old girls who reportedly were once best friends, resulted in one killing the other with a .38 caliber handgun. Supposedly, the 14-year-old that pulled the trigger was given the gun by her 24-year-old uncle. This devastating news sent shock waves throughout the Chicagoland community and personally ripped my heart. Girls and boys have been known to fight throughout time but this really got completely out of control. The end result was a life gone too soon and another life locked behind bars.

Unfortunately, this past weekend, a fistfight between two young girls ended in yet another tragedy. Apparently, the murder resulted from sheer nonsense. Reports that De’Kayla Dansberry, a 15-year-old honor student and track star, was fatally stabbed in the chest Saturday evening during a fight with another girl outside the Parkway Gardens housing complex in the 6500 block of South King Drive. “It was some type of dispute that turned physical, and it turned into a large group watching them fight. And the other girl pulled out a knife and stabbed her,” police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said Sunday. The latest Chicago news report indicates the girl that stabbed her was a 13-year-old seventh grader. “I killed her—I killed her” is what she uttered while washing blood from the knife plunged into De’Kayla’s chest.  Apparently, she retrieved the knife from her 35-year-old mother. Several eye-witnesses said the 13-year-old (who is not being identified because she’s a minor) left the house like she wanted to fight. A few days later the mother and daughter turned themselves in accompanied by a lawyer. The mother, Tamika Gayden is charged with murder and a felony, contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Sadly, another one bites the dust. One life is gone and the other two are virtually destroyed.

De’Kayla, who had grown up in Woodlawn at the Parkway Gardens complex, but had moved with relatives to the area of Ashland Avenue and Taylor Street, remained a regular at the church on Sundays, as well as at a Friday night program for teens, known as Refuge. According to her father, Julian Glanton, she was scheduled for a track meet at Eastern Illinois University on Friday.

My heart aches. How could a 13-year-old girl stab someone to death? Self-love, self-worth and self-respect are missing in far too many of our youths. I firmly believe that if parents teach their children self-value, love and worth from the womb perhaps senseless violence such as these would be slim to none. Our children must understand that they are made in God’s image and likeness. When you believe that you are beautifully and wonderfully created by God then fighting over anyone is not an option. Unfortunately, I fear that too many of our youth as well as adult sisters don’t understand who or whose they are. Nothing or no one is ever worth fighting or arguing over, point blank period.

Let’s take this time to be proactive. Begin to aggressively pray and teach our children how valuable life is for all. We must do more to lead, guide, protect and love our children. Let’s continue to instill the essence of character, integrity and the beauty of their souls. God has gifted each of us with divine purpose and talents to be blessed as well as a blessing. This should be written in their hearts and echoed as fundamentals of life. The lesson for all of us is that ‘true love is serious business and you can only receive it by having a relationship with a loving Father.’ It breaks my heart to know that in the end, all little girls really want is an opportunity to just grow up and experience real love from parents, family and friends. Unfortunately, for these young victims— the very love and friendships they sought and so desperately needed—will never happen. For some it’s not too late. You still have a chance to show love and affection to the children in your life. Surely, they are worth fighting for.

Will you love your children to life…?

 © Effie Rolfe is an Author of “Supersize Your Thinking,” Media Personality and Motivational Speaker. You can contact her on Listen to her show daily on (2015 Stellar Award Winner for Best Internet Radio Station).

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