October is the time that Domestic Violence Awareness is highlighted. As this month comes to a close, I had to share some pertinent information that could potentially save a life. Because domestic violence can show up in various forms, we must not ignore the signs. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, and even financial abuse.
Physical abuse can be one of the most obvious types of domestic violence. There may be scars, bruises and/or injuries that indicate the victim has experienced some type of physical attack. Victims may attempt to hide scars or marks with makeup or offer an excuse for the visible injuries to avoid any suspicion of abuse. Unfortunately, this happens all too often as domestic violence victims tend to stay with their abusers for years and sometimes forever. Worst case scenarios can result in rape, serious injury and even death by the hand of the abuser.
Verbal and mental abuse also show up in various forms that can include name calling, a frequent disrespectful/angry tone, and/or attempts to convince the victim that he or she is at fault and deserves the abuse that they are experiencing. Extended exposure to this type of treatment can lead to other mental states being displayed by the victim such as depression, social withdrawal, personality changes, low self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts/attempts. The most tragic fallout is when the victim actually starts to believe the words of their abuser and assumes blame for the abuse.
Financial abuse is a topic that is rarely highlighted in the same conversation with domestic violence. Victims are often taken advantage of for either having financial means or the victim is at the mercy of his or her abuser when they must rely on them financially. The victim may extend financial support to the abuser as a form of “payment” in hopes of stopping the abuse. The victim may also keep quiet about any incident of domestic violence for fear of not being financially cared for.
To be clear, all forms of abuse are unacceptable, and we bear some responsibility of reporting or saying something if abuse is suspected. While I have shared some signs of domestic violence, there are many more seen and unseen. Here are a few steps to take when domestic violence is suspected:
• Express your concern and offer support to the victim
• Ask them to talk about a safety plan with you
• Call the police if the victim is in immediate danger
• Call the local domestic violence program in your community to talk about the situation and receive further guidance
Remember, doing or saying nothing can potentially result in further abuse. Your physical, emotional and mental health matter! Please share this information with those you love and care about.