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Friday, September 17, 2021

Editor’s Note: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact. None of the items herein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author, in writing.

For submissions please forward to: [email protected] Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading! For more Chatterbox pickup The Chicago Crusader!

CHATTERBOX

NEW WINESKINS

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There’s a new multi-level marketing scheme going around da community—and it involves a preachers’ wife, some public employees and at least one “sorority member” who is going around “recruiting new millionaires” to join their pyramid. We gotta admit this one appears to be worse than the 5Linx con that once involved a state official who allegedly and on purpose recruited people through her “faith community” and using her “political influence” to get folks spending money they wouldn’t make back. No one, including the official, was charged with any crime and it ain’t necessarily a pyramid if you “sell some products” or “people spend the money to get service of some kind.” A lady who got dressed up to go to what she now calls a ‘brainwashing session,” said the scheme starts by showcasing how a person at the top of the food chain “started from the bottom and now they are here.” We don’t know what that means, but we assume that like the 5 Linx peddlers, salespeople have to recruit other salespeople to sell an array of stuff people don’t need so that people at the top of the pyramid can get paid. This new scheme also involves sending people a “Cash App fee of $50” to get people started in the scheme. Go figure. -Ima-
chatterbox

IDA B. DECLARE

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People are wondering if the great great relatives of famed Negro publisher Ida B. Wells has forgotten parts of her history. At a recent statute unveiling of the civil rights icon, barely a word was mentioned about the fact that she created two Black newspapers and was married to a newspaper publisher on the city’s South Side. Instead, Wells’ relatives seem fixed on her work in “women’s suffrage” and don’t want to bring up how their great, great, great was almost lynched for calling out the lynching of Negroes back in the day. We also hearing they are suing anybody who is using her famous name. With white “intellectual property” lawyers running around and raking up the new Black Lives Matter rewards, we hear families of famous Afro-Americans have signed on and are now putting famous names on lock. Most cite the move of the King family in Atlanta and the Shabazz family in New York who stopped people from profiting off the names and likeness of Rev. King and Rev. Malcolm X. Any day now we expect a long-lost DuSable relative will pop up and start profiting from all of the attention to the founder of Chicago. Hands down, Ida B. Wells was a reporter, publisher, activist and ass kicker. She also didn’t seem to take too kindly to Black classism and elitism that was taking over by the time she died. That’s why in 2021 at the unveiling of her statute, true Wells fans were miffed to see a...
chatterbox

NEGRO REMOVAL PLAN

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Some people with time on their hands said the “Negro Removal Plan” is in full effect. Persons are upset about all of the violence as well as all of them strange-looking, outlandish TV charlatans that are poppin’ up all over the place demanding accountability. A man with a kufi on thinks the gun violence is “part of a plan to white-up the City of Chicago.” This fellow with ties to gangs also called street organizations claims, “They are dropping crate loads of weapons and ammunition off in the alleys and stuff. They want us to kill each other so they can take these cities back. How come all this is going on, even though (n-words) are getting everything they want in these streets? They want us to self-destruct. It’s part of a bigger plan. I see white folks jogging up and down King Drive. I see them walking their dogs in Garfield Park. They tired of living in those tornado alleys with bad water. Most of these shootings are domestic. These people know each other. How do unemployed, broke (racial slur) get the money to buy guns and bullets? You tellin’ me they out here sucking D for AK-47s? Then how they can afford this war? It’s because people finding boxes of guns in strange places. The police ain’t gone do nothing but keep it contained in the ghetto. That (s-word) that happened on the Fourth was just kids being kids. I’m talking about these high-powered rifles that are out...
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