By Chinta Strausberg, Chicago Crusader
Likening herself to a caterpillar trapped in a cocoon while working in corporate America for 15-years pretending to be satisfied and successful, Suzette Webb, like a butterfly, broke free and completed her transformation through the healing of her heart, mind, body and soul.
Yes, Webb, the author of “Blues to Blessings: From Fearful to Faithful, attended her book signing recently at Saint Sabina Church hosted by the church’s Sisterhood Ministry. Her first book was called “Moments of Truth” she wrote 18-years ago.
Webb told of having what she thought was a perfect life—a husband, Jonathan Webb and three sons, Joshua, Julian and Jonathan II, but she became restless and soon began a spiritual journey to reconnect with her innermost soul and it wasn’t easy.
In fact, Webb admitted her journey of transformation was at times quite painful. “My parents were not married when I was born,” she said explaining they married afterwards which was frowned upon back in the 1960’s. She was sexually abused from the ages of 10-16, she told the Sisterhood Ministry who formed a circle and listened to her story.
“I held that secret until I was almost 40-years old because what happens to a child is you feel as though you are the glue in that household, and if you say something, your whole household could likely explode,” she stated.
“You’re almost the currency in that household because you are keeping it going. Walking around with that kind of pain that burden…”Prevented her from being comfortable with her.”
While she was a professional and well educated, Webb said something was missing. “I let my hair down in this book…to get to the place of peace…. “ She felt something was wrong with her but later believed there are others like her “with this discontent” nagging her.
Her book, which took her five-years to write, is divided into four sections: Awareness, Preparation, Transformation and Service. She left “no stone unturned” almost like a tell-it-all book in a very personal way and the “painful complexities” of her life.
In her search to quell the discontent that stirred her soul, she felt she was “sleep walking through life…” everything was routine as if “someone placed ‘play’ in her every day chores including her job. Her days became a “drudgery” and she soon felt it was time to move on and find something new. “Sometimes doing a new thing,” but it became a “distraction of what was really going on inside of me.
She went to Northwestern but after her first year she felt “there was a greater calling on her life but didn’t know what that was….” “This is where my journey began with the Lord.”
A friend had her to make up a vision board where she cut up pictures from magazines that were supposed to chart out her life. Desperate to find out what was bothering her, she competed the board only to be told the picture of the woman in the middle was herself. It represented a smiling woman in prison. Above the picture Webb had “be excellent” and to the left of the picture a number 10.
Webb said she was “I’m hurt. I’m frustrated and I’m confused, but I am not in prison or so I thought,” she said explaining her journey with God began in the first section of the book, Awareness.” “I was searching for answers outside of myself…. God wants to use me but he was working me….”
In her section Preparation, Webb talked about that caterpillar that has a “ferrous” appetite. She heard a sermon that taught her it might seem like nothing is going on, that she can’t see the transformation but it had begun.
Webb talked about Section Three, Transformation. She began to pray and seek her purpose in life, but she could not see the benefit of digging up all that stuff from the past.
Webb said one of the most powerful chapter’s in her book is Chapter 26 entitled “Scratch” where she admits to being a “classic perfectionist.”
In 2006, Webb founded the Light of Mine (LOM) company that designs and manufactures high-performance lighting systems for military vehicles, and she constantly strived for perfection and surrounding herself with people much smarter than she is, but still that doesn’t make her feel more secure. In Chapter 26, Webb comes full circle and becomes even closer to God.
Referring to the last section, Service, Webb said, “God wasn’t calling me to be of service to me. He was calling me to be a service to him. I realized that in order for my light to shine, I didn’t necessarily need to see my name in the bright lights. I had to receive that….” Bright lights to Webb use to make her feel like she didn’t need a man to be successful.”
Webb began “B Moments, “ a scripture for the day she e-mails which will be picked up by Moody Radio on March 1st. Webb said her book is especially important around the Lent season—a time of reflection” and spiritual journeying towards your purpose in life.
Webb realized she had to have outside help and saw a therapist she called “an angel,” but admitted there is a stigma around therapy she said. “When that dam breaks, the flood waters will come….” Webb said therapy is necessary “otherwise the shame” will drown you and break your spirit. Webb embraced and looked to God throughout her spiritual transformation.