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An article written by @IndiaMonee titled “Pastor T.D. Jakes Says Families Are Lost Because We Are Raising Up Women To Be Men” and shared on Facebook by Shad Wick attributes the following to a sermon by Pastor T.D. Jakes, delivered on Father’s Day, entitled “Real Men Pour In.”

Pastor Jakes reportedly said “…families are being lost in contemporary culture because ‘We are raising up Women to be Men’ because Women basically aren’t living in their femininity.”

He goes on to say “We were not designed to receive from Women. Your self-esteem is compromised when you have to ask your Wife for lunch money. And Adam, all of a sudden, has allowed the curse to come because he stopped pouring,” Jakes explained. He explains that … “when Women are not being led by Women (it) ‘breaks the divine order’ and though it goes against today’s cultural norms, he’s stressed that this order is Disrupting what God had planned for Families.”

First off, it must be kept in mind that this was a sermon directed at men on Father’s Day. Secondly, it would be interesting to know how T.D. Jakes knows what’s going on in the mind of God since his sermon implies that he has inside information on this topic.

Most likely he does NOT have inside information for the following reason: he is extremely, and surprisingly, shortsighted on this issue! He should know that a “divide and conquer” strategy is very counterproductive when it comes to male/ female relationships and their impact on the Black family.

He is totally ignoring an historical pattern that has contributed to this situation. There was a time when Black men were used as breeders, which left them little room to serve in the traditional role of fathers who could contribute adequately to their family’s economic well-being. In this regard, women have long held the unenviable burden of holding families together.

A question we might ask of Pastor Jakes is “What did God say about the impact of slavery on the emasculation of the Black man, and how does that relate to what is happening in our communities today?”

What Pastor Jakes seems to misunderstand is the fact that nature operates out of necessity…if there is a weakness in one area of life, the opposite one has to compensate for what is missing. It would be interesting to see how our communities would look if Black women had not stepped up to the plate to help our families survive! That is what has made a lot of Black women strong. But make no mistake; “strong” is NOT synonymous with “masculine!”

T.D. Jakes seems to be taking a page from the late Kevin Samuel’s playbook (RIP); his message is pure misogynoir…he chooses to denigrate women in spite of the perpetual disenfranchisement meted out by white society against them and the constant put-downs coming from popular culture! Black women have been maligned viciously by Black men for decades!

T.D. Jakes and his acolytes are not thinking logically if they believe they can shame so-called “masculine” women into compliant servants. A more plausible approach would be to look for effective cooperative strategies that would help address some of the problems facing our communities.

This could start by recognizing that most Black children are raised in single, female-headed households without positive male-female role models. That can’t all land on the shoulders of women, who often take on the role of both parents by themselves!

The saddest thing is that Black women have bought into the narrative of being villains and have seemingly absolved men of their responsibilities. They have not asked the men these questions: “Who’s going to take care of Black families if Black women stop aggressively stepping up to the plate? And who’s going to point out the irony that Black men are seemingly turning the Black community into another race with the lion’s share of resources going out of the communities to others once they do gain significant resources?”

The issue is to not just point fingers, but to remind us all that both Black men and women bear culpability for what is happening in our families and communities.

The problems facing the Black community are NOT owned by Black Females or by Black Males alone; they are “WE” problems!!! Pastor Jakes et al needs to stop all of the non-productive blame-gaming and seek to identify effective strategies that can lead to real solutions with men and women working TOGETHER, and attempting to shame Black women should not be part of the agenda! A Luta Continua.

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