By Ima Gontellit, Chicago Crusader
MOVING ON OUT?
People are out here wondering where the Voice of the Negro will find a home now that the man who owns the building the radio station is housed in is up for sale. The former Soft Sheen property at 1000 E. 87th Street is being sold for $1.8 million to whomever wants to purchase the huge space that comes with a tenant who won’t leave. We was told that W.V.O.N. was taken to eviction court in a lengthy and costly move to force the station off the property. As soon as a judge ruled that the “house that Maze destroyed” had to go, the owner apparently ran to the nearest real estate broker and put the entire place up for sale.
The listing for $1.875 million reads: “Jameson Commercial is pleased to present a fantastic opportunity to acquire a well located building with a great mix of office, warehouse, & parking spaces. This 53K sq ft building rests on 87K sq ft of land, has close to 21K sq ft of office space, along with 31K sq ft of warehouse space with tall ceilings (23′.) Currently, there is an tenant in place that occupies a large portion of the office space. Multiple drive in doors and docks give many options to a owner/user with warehouse & storage needs.”
Now people out here saying that since the man done threw up his hands and decided to sell the building that WVON can probably just stay put and hope somebody with a caring heart will purchase the place and let them stay–rent free. NO word yet on whether or not Clear Channel will have a heart and forgive the massive debt the struggling station has amassed after signing an agreement that virtually gave up control of the Black station to people who backed George W. Bush and Trump. On de bright side, since so few people listen to WVON anymore, the white folks may just leave it alone–for now.
CHARLES THOMAS FED UP?
Charles Thomas, the formerly respected political reporter from the television set, has once again, quit W.V.O.N.’s morning show, and this time there seems there’s no turning back. Anybody with a hearing aid can tell he can’t stand his co-host Maze “the Destroyer” Jackson, who used the formerly respected reporter like a sidekick. Thomas brought credibility to Jackson’s much-dreaded radio program that has insulted more people in one year than the Chatterbox has done in the last 20. His quitting comes at a time when people are on the streets saying Thomas is working with Republicans to spread a “F the Democrats” message and they also claimed he was going to run for office himself. Well, no one believes too much of that, although it has been said Thomas was part of a group of Negro business people who met with some right-wing money people who are planning to open up some fake news websites and throughout Cook County. In de meantime, people were wondering what was wrong with Thomas who was laffing it up and wearing baseball hats backward as he sat giggling next to his dark skin co-host with the annoying voice. Seems like his senses are slowly coming back. Good luck to him and hopefully being on W.V.O.N. didn’t do too much damage to his reputation.
SHAKE UP COMIN
Somebody’s campaign for mayor is about to be hit with a rock–so they say. It involves a dick, a fool and somebody that ate a lot of McDonalds.
FIFTH WARD FIGHT
Is another attorney thinking about running against embattled Ald. Leslie Hairston in the upcoming city elections? Yeah, but people can’t seem to convince the man he can actually beat the 5th Ward powerhouse with the big mouth. Now that a group of angry white people have opened up an office down the street from their “alderman” someone is getting bold about talkin’ about taking her out of public service. While the group rallying against Hairston is made up of the usual suspects, the fact that they are now begging a well-liked lawyer to run is interesting. Why? Because this lawyer supposedly used to be tight with the person they may be seeking to unseat. Is that a surprise in Chicago? No.
OBAMA SPEED BUMP
Looks lak de Obama Shrine Social Service Presidential Library Community Center thing in Jackson Park has been put on a slow pace. It’s not because of some silly impact study either–they already have that in their pocket. It basically reads: Poor people get out. Rich people come in—and we’re building you a golf course too. What’s really going on according to one nosey person is that there’s some major funding issues with figuring out how the City of Chicago can safely funnel all of those public tax dollars into the private hands. And, there’s a letter somebody sent around claiming all kinds of dirty dealings and double-crossing going on. And, somebody is claiming its been sent to Trump to make him tweet some means things about the former president and the current mayor. Who cares? That monstrosity is coming whether people likes it or not. Just be glad they changed their minds about razing DuSable Museum to build it.
SPEAKING OF DUSABLE
Members of its board of directors are dropping like flies. Now there’s some talk of “litigation” to find out “what happened to the money” and what board member did what and when to help make this DuSable Museum of African American History almost become history.
Well err’body at the Good Shepherd Shady Rest One Foot In Senior Center was sittin’ round the table laffin’ bout the good ole days: The time when if you didn’t lak somebody you could just put a hex on ‘em and make de problem go away. Soon enough people were sharin’ which jujus worked best and which worked de least. De Chatterbox wants to share some of them with you and have you decide. Now chilren’ don’t go off tryin’ to do none of deese on none of them Chicago politicians and Negro preachers you suspect ain’t really heard from God. This stuff is for entertainment purposes only–cause some of yahll think this is news instead of a gossip column as it was meant for. In de meantime, again, if you tryin’ to get rid of somebody, why don’t you just ask ‘em to move:
Get yo’self 1 ½ pint Mason jar with a top to it; some vinegar; a small lemon and then gather up some burnt rose petals and thorns; then find you a pen and some pater along with nine stick pins: First you go and make yo’ petition by writing the name of the fool you want outta yo life on a piece of paper; cut up the lemon in half and place the name of yo’ fool inside one of the halves. Then you take them stick pins and put the lemon back together. After you think for a moment if you really want to get rid of this fool, go ahead and put the lemon in a jar and fill it with vinegar. Throw in them burnt flower and thorns as you say de fool’s name out loud. Then top it off with some more vinegar, put the top on it; then stir it around in the jar 9 times going backward; then put the jar up and wait and see if you’ fool leave you alone. (See more next week.)
EDITOR’S NOTE: This column is published as political satire, street gossip and humor, and therefore should not be considered as fact but rather as matter of opinion. None of the items therein are collected by the news gathering staff of the Crusader Newspaper Group. Items forwarded to The Chatterbox are kept confidential unless otherwise requested by the author in writing. For submissions please forward to: AChicagoCrusader@aol.com. Original photography and artwork are permitted. Thank you for reading!